Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
