careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Randomize
