I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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