Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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