we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I have post one night stand depression
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