So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
