I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
