I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
