I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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