I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
