your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
