if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Everything about him screamed your future.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
