He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
