margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
