I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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