if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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