Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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