@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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