I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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