he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
