I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
