I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
