it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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