I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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