She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
