my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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