dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
