My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
