Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
