I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
