she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
