I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
