I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
