So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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