Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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