I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
