I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
