I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
It's Friday. Sex?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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