Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
