i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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