Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Someone signed my nipple.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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