I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
