Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I cut my penus on the lid.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
