So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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