the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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