mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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