you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
