I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
