Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
