I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
